TODAY'S THE DAY

So, I just made my salt water flush. It tastes like seawater (big surprise there), but I'm not sure if it's the taste, or the smell or both, but I feel like I'm at the beach and have accidentally just swallowed seawater. I'm a pretty good swimmer though, so when i do swallow seawater, it's accompanied by a feeling of uncertainty and disorientedness. To be clear, I'm not disoriented right now, I'm just remembering all the times over the summer when I would try to catch a wave by swimming as fast as I can and waiting for the crest to come over me and hurl me toward the shore. Naturally I close my eyes and when I get up and open them, even if I'm smack dab on somebody's umbrella, I still have a really strong feeling of rootlessness. Where am I? I wonder frantically for half a second. And then I taste the saltwater like I do now.

The answer is, that I'm in the internet and in the kitchen. Commencing what is probably the second stupidest diet in the history of humankind.

Over and out, Earthlings, over and out