Wednesday, February 16, 2011

goodnight sweet colon, and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest

I'm afraid this is it my dearest friends.
After 10 days, 34 ounces of maple syrup, 64 ounces of lemon juice, some cayenne red pepper, some sea salt and some nasty tea, it's time to eat food again.
I might even eat for the first time during class tomorrow. Is that poetry or what?
I wouldn't necessarily recommend this diet to others. On the bright side, it gets you a lot of attention. sort of. Not enough to make it worth it. On the cloudy side, you get really hungry. I've lost about 10 pounds I think since it started. I went to the gym yesterday but I forgot to weigh myself. I've also recently started experiencing shortness of breath and my resting heart rate was above 90 last night which is not something with which anyone under the age of 50 should deal. I've also lost muscle in my stomach, which I think is a sign of malnutrition (that's a better excuse than not having done any situps since the 10th grade right?).
So yeah. I don't recommend it. But do you my friends. Be your own person. If you want to cleanse it out, then cleanse away.
Make sure your lemonade is cold - otherwise its gross
Make sure your lemonade doesn't have too much cayenne in it - otherwise its GROSS
Make sure you drink enough lemonade throughout the day - otherwise you get really hungry
Make sure you carry around a bag of Jumbo Sour Twizzlers - just in case

And thus, I must leave this blogosphere in search of the next one, exiting with the grace yet unbounding optimism with which my sandwich awaits

The Beauty! The Beauty!


  1. Hi Felix,
    Sorry to post too little too late, but per your request, here are my comments (I'll try to go pun-less). I have to say that your midterm proposal statement was engaging and I enjoyed getting a glimpse into the associations you made been the word Colon, and Diaz. Very interesting. I will say that I appreciate your observational prowess, and the entertaining way you "map" out this experience of the diet onto the larger world--the growling of the stomach, the lemons in the store, enough for an "armada" (nice), and also the way this blog serves as a nice way to sort of isolate your thoughts in a way that is, I've found, similar to dieting in general--when you're the one not eating you suddenly feel very lonely even though you're around others. I even wondered if you, in fact, did feel this way and, if so, if you would let us see it a bit more! Overall, this blog has a nice range, and feels much larger than the topic at hand or, shall I say, broader than the "bottom" line (couldn't help it).