Thursday, February 10, 2011

hey guys

sorry for being kind of short these past few days, I'm not really angry at you, it's just tough for me sometimes. You really are one of my only outlets of human interaction blogreaders
Anyway, I feel pretty good considering that this is day 4. It's not that I miss the food (although my stomach was SO loud during class, I deff got some looks) it's that I miss thinking about food. A moment on the lips and a lifetime on the hips is one thing, but for me, it's always been a moment on the lips, an hour and a half rumbling around the cerebral cortex. If that doesn't rhyme try saying it in a deep southern accent, and if it still doesn't rhyme I don't care because you've missed the point that I obsess about food. I fantasize about food. I plan my day around food.
No really, I do. I have a mealplan so I read the menu of what's being offered in the dining hall. I eat at Chipotle approximately 3.126 times per week and Potbelly's at least 14.3 times per week...That may or may not be true but the point is I love to eat. So today I walked straight to the dining hall before class before I realized what was happening. The worst part though is the vending machines all over campus.
Now these evil motherfuckers taunt you anyway and I've lost many a dollar or ninety cent to their clutches. And what comes out? M&Ms? Not enough. Twix? Way too small and it gets all up in your teeth. Famous Amos cookies? Too dry. Those zebra cupcake things? Um hello, twinkie defense. Honeybun? Well yeah those are delicious
But today just out of habit I was looking at the vending machines after class and peering in to see what I wanted when I remembered that I'm on this here diet.
It's like those scenes of alcoholics who walk into a bar and order a drink and then stare at it. Honestly I don't have that much willpower although I'm hesitant to self-diagnose as addicted to food. That's excessive. But I guess I lost track of my thoughts because I realized people were staring at me, and then I realized why: I'd been leaning into the machine and it all looked so delicious and I thought how bad could one apple and cheese danish be and I guess I just started dry-humping the vending machine in my excitement.
Over and out, Earthlings, over and out

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